For many families abroad, the hardest ceremony to arrange is Shradh. A parent or grandparent has passed away in India, the family home is far away, and the rites need to be done on a specific tithi. This guide explains the options with respect and without pressure.
Key takeaways
- Shradh is observed on the tithi of death. You can perform a simple tarpan at home, or arrange the rites in India and join by video.
- Use a panchang calculated for the place where the rite is performed.
- Black sesame, water, kusha grass (or a substitute) and a sincere prayer are the core of a home tarpan.
- Where circumstances limit what you can do, a simple tarpan with faith is considered valuable. Ask your pandit about your tradition.
The basics
Shradh is the rite of remembering ancestors with water, food and prayer. It is done on the tithi of the person's death each year, and also in Pitru Paksha. For the full meaning, rules and who may perform it, read our guide to Pitru Paksha and Shradh.
Which tithi and calendar to follow abroad
The tithi is counted by the Moon and sunrise, so it can fall on different dates in different cities. If the rite is performed in your home abroad, use a panchang for your own city. If the rite is arranged by a pandit in India, the pandit will follow the local panchang there. Ask your family elder or pandit which method your tradition follows. Our article on muhurat for NRIs explains why dates differ.
Option 1: A simple tarpan at home
If you wish to observe Shradh at home, this is a common simple form. Check with your family tradition first.
- Bathe in the morning and wear clean clothes. Keep the day sattvic and avoid non-vegetarian food, onion and garlic.
- Sit facing east or north. Place a photo of the departed or a lamp before you.
- Take water in a vessel, add black sesame and a little barley or rice. Use kusha grass if you have it. If you do not, a clean ring of darbha, or a pure thread, is sometimes used. Ask your pandit about a substitute.
- Recall the name, relationship and gotra of the departed, and pour the water slowly into a plate or a tray. When you finish, pour it at the base of a plant or tree.
- Offer cooked food (rice, a vegetable, dal, a sweet) and place a portion aside for a cow, a dog and the birds, or give it to someone in need.
- Close with a prayer of gratitude.
Option 2: Rites arranged in India
Many families have a pandit in India perform the Shradh, with the family joining by video. The pandit conducts tarpan, pind daan and the feeding of Brahmins, and the family gives the sankalp with their names. Pind daan is also performed at tirthas such as Gaya, Prayagraj, Haridwar and Varanasi. You can read more in our Shraddh ceremony guide and arrange it through our Shradh and Pind Daan page. A samagri list is in the Shradh kit.
Option 3: A temple or community pandit near you
Many Hindu temples and community groups abroad can arrange or perform Shradh rites. Ask whether the priest follows your tradition and whether your family can take part.
Joining by video
- Fix the time in both time zones and send the call link ahead.
- Prepare the same items at both ends if you are performing tarpan with the pandit, such as sesame and water.
- Give the names, gotra and the tithi to the pandit before the day.
- Ask for a recording if you would like to keep it, and ask permission before recording.
Frequently asked questions
Can a daughter or a daughter-in-law perform Shradh?
Practice varies by tradition. Many families today include daughters and other close relatives, especially where there is no son. Ask your pandit.
What if I cannot get black sesame or kusha?
Black sesame is sold at Indian grocery stores and online. For kusha, ask your pandit about a suitable substitute. Intent is the heart of the rite.
Can I do Shradh on a different day if the tithi falls on a weekday?
The tithi is traditional, so many families do it on the tithi, even on a working day, and keep it simple. Ask your pandit before choosing another day.
Looking for personalised guidance?
Speak with an Āchārya, or plan a ceremony with a pandit.
